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Why are they titled "SLU for U"?
1-800-SLU-for-U is the toll free phone number SLU gives to prospective Freshman.
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SLU for U 2 (The Sequel)
"Loading" loop with snoring DPS officer
If you frequent one of SLU's surface parking lots, you've probably seen this, too (one very recent elderly DPS snoozer on the Marchetti "St. Peters" lot inspired this bit). A DPS officer in his (I've never seen a female doing this) DPS cruiser, parked inconspicuously in a SLU lot, taking a well-deserved catnap in the driver's seat. I always found this kind of funny - until my car was recently ravaged by some stereo thieves. Allow me take a brief moment to dispel an incorrect assessment some people have ascribed to me: I do not dislike our Department of Public Safety. In fact, I honestly believe that, given the surroundings (SLU isn't exactly in the middle of Safetyville), the DPS officers do a good job. SLU "feels" safe at night - not because we have pretty fountains and statues and landscaping, but because of the visible and effective DPS presence. By virtue of their campus visibility, however, DPS officers inevitably lend themselves to being symbolic subjects for a little humor every once in a while (cf. the original SLU for U animation). No harm, no foul, DPS? Truce?
The "Initiation" scenes
When I first animated these scenes (December/January 2000/2001), I feared I was, perhaps, a bit harsh. Then, this fear of mine was decisively proven dead wrong - Fr. Biondi sent us all a big lump of incontinence in the form of an email announcing YET ANOTHER 7% tuition increase for 2001-02 and AN AVERAGE 16.4% HIKE IN FEES FOR SLU'S ALREADY-OVERCROWDED HOUSING! He followed this announcement with a bunch of -- pardon my lack of restraint -- BULLSHIT about how SLU is kindasorta like WashU, Northwestern, Georgetown, and Nortre Dame (they still cost more, so we shouldn't complain) ... ... ... ... ... sorry, I still convulse with anger every time I think about this. Furthermore, he addressed his financial comments and defensive B.S. to "parents" - completely ignorant of the large number of us, who bear 100% of the weight of drastically increased tuition and housing bills on our own weary backs. Compared with my Freshman year, I paid $3460 more in tuition this school year alone. To Fr. Biondi and other apathetic administrators, that may be no big deal - toss a few more scholarship bones to the incoming Freshman class to make it seem as though everything evens out. To a student worker like myself, that means having to work 300 hours more over the past year - 6 additional hours per week, all year - during the months in which I could have been spending more time hitting the books for my senior year studies.
With respect to our overcrowded campus housing, here's my take - res halls and apartments are already overcrowded - rooms that were once singles and doubles are now triples. 5th year seniors are now denied housing, across the board (except, of course, the 5th year SGA president and a select few athletes?). Here are the Three Obvious Solutions to this problem: (1) Build more housing - e.g., instead of the palm trees and wading pools and grass where we razed the old State apartments, why not more housing?
(4/24/2001) Kudos to Biondi & Co. for their purchase of the Grand Forest Apartment complex (assuming negotiations were conducted fairly). Time will tell, but, hopefully, this will noticeably alleviate the current housing.
(2) Admit only the number of students that can comfortably squeeze into our current housing. We all know this will never happen, because that would mean less $$ in the coffers. But - hear me out - this second option has a suprise benefit! The clear way to cut down on admissions numbers would be to - omigod - RAISE ADMISSIONS STANDARDS! Instead of yapping about our paltry ACT average of 26 (we're in a dead heat with the nearest big state schools now), Fr. Biondi could have something worth touting. However, I no longer believe him when he tells us that he wants to bring SLU's reputation outside its Midwestern sphere, to make SLU "the best Catholic University" in the country. (3) The SLU administration approach: "we'll look into that" (resume counting money garnished from another record-sized class). By the way, the mechanical, impersonal assembly line motif in this scene was no accident - anyone who's been through the process knows that SLU still has a host of bugs to work out in its processing of students (before and after Freshman year). If any independent auditors are to be called in anytime soon, I recommend that they begin with the department of Residence Life.
"Aqua"
Some may disagree with me, but I really dig the water all over campus. Other than the RIDICULOUS putting green (whose idea was that??), the new Laclede park is a great place for a walk, a game of catch, or whatever. The new business school rapids are neat, too (however, the cost = less housing potential via razing the old Scholar's house). I got so much flak for not dropping any fountains into the first animation that I had to do something, and Snorkel Guy (name changed at his request) was the result. Don't try this on your own - I hear there's a $100 fine for playing in SLU fountains.
"Ambition" (Super Biondi)
If you've played the original "Super Mario Bros." Nintendo game (who hasn't?), you understand the motif... if not, there's nothing the modern world can do to help you :-) For those of you who do not follow my symbolism well: our President came to his current position of respect and power in St. Louis because of the enormous amounts of $$ he raises for SLU, enabling his construction (and demolition) projects galore (and, oh yeah, more scholarships and faulty and technology and stuff). Hence, the coins and the moneybag "powerup" (vis-a-vis the Mario Bros. mushroom) making our symbolic Jesuit big and powerful enough to raze buildings in a single bound - even one that he had no right to own (20 North). Along the way, he steps on a few students - so what? The whole 20 North eminent-domain-to-Biondi thing really ticked me off (not because I care about the bar - I'd never even been there - it was the principle of the thing). Knocking down the State Apartments and Scholars house to add greenspace to the campus sounded to me like a pretty dumb idea, with Freshman admissions going up each year (yes, Rev., I know - you built the Village to address this, but it ain't enough).
Heaven or Hell?
First, I must give credit where credit is due. I ripped off the "Heaven or Hell" idea from another Flash animation called "The God and Devil Show" at Warner Brothers online (http://www.warnerbros.com/pages/god_devil/index.jsp). I just couldn't pass it up! For heaven, I have The Man gaining the right to tear down the entire city - and doing so. This is my comic vision of what our Lexus-driving, big-money-schmoozing, suntanning, board-member president would do if he had eminent domain over the entire City of Saint Louis. For hell, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to give you the pleasure of dropping The Man guy to a painful, fiery death, if only symbolically (w.r.t. the lock-up and the Mastercard jacket, think "School of the Americas protest"...).
Credits - Those funky chicks with cell phones and rolling suitcases Alright - we've all seen 'em. You may even be one! Yes, I'm referring to the legion of rolling-a-suitcase-instead-of-carrying-a-normal-bookbag females who have appeared on campus over the past two years. What's the deal? Are we averting posturepedic problems? Just too lazy to carry a bag around? Can't afford a bookbag after the steep cost of luggage? Perhaps someone can fill me in. I'm guilty of the antisocial mobile phone usage between classes, too (only for work - I swear). This rampant phenomenon has no actual correllation with the females who roll their books around, but I thought it was a good place to satirize this, as well.
Some Final Thoughts
I graduate this May (2001) - assuming that those who may wish to expel me don't read this until June! I will miss many aspects of SLU and many of the good people here. On the other hand, I won't miss the regular headaches SLU has delivered. However, as an educational investment, I still think SLU was a decent choice. I don't know about SLU ever becoming the "best Catholic University" in the country, but I do believe that the value of my SLU diploma will increase along with SLU's reputation (unfortunately, though, this will probably only increase along with tuition and student disenchantment). I make one plea to the SLU administration: I admire your efforts and you have done much good for SLU and for Midtown in recent years. However, do not lose the soul of your student-customers. SLU is not supposed to be just a growing University; it's a Catholic University. It's not just a Catholic University; it is a Jesuit University. Without committed students, SLU is nothing.
To the students who will remain at SLU after this school year - particularly, the 86% of the Freshman class who find SLU worthy enough to stick around: my one regret about my time at SLU is that I did not get out and do more. Granted, I took a big courseload and worked quite a bit to support myself, but I wish I'd taken a bit more action. I was very involved in a few organizations and activities, but none that effectively fought the Administration's disregard for its student-customers. So, I ask you - when you identify problems here, get mad and get out and do something about them. Don't be like me - don't just be a sniper at the end of your time here, taking satirical pot-shots at problems you didn't do much to fix. Take initiative. Organize and motivate like-minded classmates. Form clear goals (don't fall where the SGA has), band together, and use your collective influence to get what you deserve, as a student-customer at SLU. Don't let The Man and his friends get you down - get mad and do something about it!
I wish you all the best of luck...
SLU for U (The Original)
In The Beginning
As I'm sure many of you know, SLU's physical campus has changed quite dramatically over the past ten or so years. Many new buildings have emerged, many old ones have been greatly refurbished. The groundskeeping changed from ho-hum to absolutely beautiful, with well-trimmed, even green grass and shrubberies, flowers, fountains, walkways, arches, and statues adorning nearly every nook and cranny. SLU has added large plots of land to its campus map, most notably the land on the East end of campus, where, I can still remember, the dilapidated and neglected remains of failed city Projects buildings once stood.
From what I can gather, our President, Father Biondi, has been a (or maybe "the"?) prime motivating force behind all this rapid and amazing beautification. Hence, the depiction of a priest zapping the bleak countryside to change the grass to green, the sky to blue, the clocktower and an arch emerging from the ground.
The Statue
Thanks to Fr. Biondi, SLU has added a number of statues to its landscape, many beautiful and some, well, interesting. For a better understanding of this scene, check out our friendly hermaphrodite, who has a hole in his/her stomach, on the West side of campus, closer to Vandeventer.
The Blue "Saint Louis University" Sign
Ever since the erection of this big blue night light in the sky in 1997, Saint Louis drivers-by have identified SLU from afar by the green towers and bright blue "Saint Louis University" sign atop Griesedieck Hall. Personally, I think this was a brilliant improvement. Having resided in the Saint Louis area for many years, I remember the big ugly Gries tower with its plain, boring top. I also remember the difficulty the layman once had in identifying the Saint Louis University campus from outside its boundaries (Washington University has had its own exit-ramp sign on Highway 40 for years, but for SLU - nothing!). The lovely topping Gries received in '97 clearly distinguished the center of the Saint Louis University campus for all to see, from miles around.
Golf Cart Racing
Certain priests, Public Safety (DPS) officers, and maintenance workers, among others, use various modified golf carts to travel more efficiently throughout the Saint Louis University campus. Generally, this is a common and uninteresting phenomenon. Unfortunately, golf cart travel becomes difficult for both drivers and student-pedestrians at various high-traffic times (esp. between classes!). Occasionally, near accidents between unaware pedestrians and enthusiastic golf-cart pilots have left both parties frustrated on the various SLU paths.
The Fat, Belching Parking Man with a Crown
Everyone who has had to park in Saint Louis University for the past two or three years is familiar with the radical changes in the parking system that occurred between the 1998-1999 and 1999-2000 school years. Much shrift has been made (by students, faculty, and other parkers) of the problems that emerged, directly or indirectly, intended or not, from these changes. I'll provide the details, for those of you who are not familiar with the whole situation, or who didn't follow the details (though it was hard not to, when your parking plan ended up costing you at least 60% more in 99-00 than it did in 98-99).
Here's my editorial on parking... (BTW - everything I'm writing here comes from what was said by Fr. Biondi and then-Executive Vice President Dr. Kimmey, what was quoted in the U-News from various SLU administrators, various Parking & Card services publications, and my own personal experience)
Upon the completion of the various expensive new parking garages (first the Laclede garage, then the Medical campus and Olive St. garages), the SLU administrators in charge of the annual budget formulations decided, in early 1999, to begin incorporating the new multimillion-dollar garage costs into the costs of individual SLU parking permits. According to Dr. Kimmey, the garage costs had previously been subsidized by SLU Hospital profits, and this budgeting mistake was only realized upon the 1998 sale of SLU Hospital to Tenet. Missouri Attorney General Jay Nixon decided that, since SLU Hospital was built using donations in the 1930s, the money raised by the (rather controversial) sale of the Hospital could only be used to fund SLU's medical programs.* Hence, the Hospital sale money could not be used subsidize the garages like the Hospital profits had previously. If I remember correctly, this was all presented to the student body by Dr. Kimmey (at a Student Government Association meeting) in a "you-guys-are-lucky-we-didn't-catch-this-sooner" and "you-actually-came-out-ahead" manner.
Anyway, in the previous plan, all regular full-time students (and teachers and other employees, I presume) paid $200 per year (or $100 per semester) for a parking pass which allowed them to park on nearly every surface parking lot and in all parking garages on campus (my pass even worked in the new medical campus garage!). For the 1999-2000 school year, the parking plan was completely revamped. This new plan (still in effect today) scaled the various parking options, reserving certain lots and even reserved spaces for higher-priced permits (you ought to check out the mess of a plan they have now, at the SLU Parking & Card Services website). The minimum parking permit price for a full-time resident student like myself is now $330 per year ($165 per semester, a 65% increase!). For permission to park in the Laclede garage (a privilege I obtained for $200 per year during my first two years at SLU), a student now must fork over $440 each year, a one-year increase of 120%!! As if this price hike were not bad enough, those folks who pay the $440/year don't even get to park on any of the surface lots anymore! "Premium" and "Reserved" parking permits for reserved parking spaces cost $750 and $900 per year and entail the same restriction - no parking anywhere else.
OK, you might counter, so having to spend more money isn't so great, but you have new parking garages and lots - everything is hunky-dory, right? Unfortunately, although this is the claim of SLU administrators like Chris Regan and Parking & Card Services manager Ann Benson, this is far from the truth. Few problems were solved by the new parking arrangements, but a plethora of new problems were introduced. I will use my own case as an example.
I moved into the SLU apartment building (Marchetti West) in which I currently reside largely because of the convenience parking in a lot adjacent to my building after my frequent computer-repair trips (I pay my tuition, room, and board with the money I make through my computer service business). When the new parking plans took effect, many students were forced (by the 110%-inflated expense) to purchase a parking permit that no longer allowed them to park in the nearby Laclede garage. The nearest lot, available under the cheaper $330/year plan and the less expensive part-time student and commuter parking plans, is the "Saint Peters" Marchetti parking lot. Now, my lot and is nearly always full to capacity (and then some) when I return from work during the schoolday or after 7 or 8 in the evening. I am forced to either feed a meter on a city street (in the now-rare event that a space is available on a nearby street) or park between 1/4 mile (a lot behind the nearby Shell gasoline station) and 3/4 mile (the Olive garage) away from my apartment. I am not particularly afraid of the 1/4-3/4 mi. walk through and across city streets when I return from work, often after midnight, but I would imagine there are some students who are more concerned than me. I don't like having to carry upwards of fifty pounds of equipment back with me, in the city, at night. But, as an audacious healthy male, I'm not too worried about being violated or robbed. Other, less audacious, or more frail students might have their own opinions about the late-night trek to an apartment for which they've paid a premium, because it has a (now-overcrowded) parking lot.
Ms. Regan, Ms. Benson, and others repeatedly tell students to quit whining about the new program or an imagined paucity of spaces. "We continually watch the availability of space at peak times throughout the day and week and have always found a surplus of spaces this year," Ms. Regan recently told a University News reporter. What she failed to emphasize was that these spaces were in lots (particularly the Olive garage) either on the far ends of campus, or inaccessible to most students (e.g., the Laclede garage), or both. She neglected to note that once-available lots like the one behind my apartment building are consistently overflowing throughout the week.
The simple fact is that all SLU permit parkers are getting less for more! We took a 65+% hike in prices for fewer parking options. 'Nuff said.
*Thanks to Nick Fagen for pointing this out.
Circling the Lot, with Nowhere to Park
This is me (or any other arbitrary, frustrated SLU student), searching for a parking spot, waiting for someone to vacate a spot, hoping that I don't have to once again park a half mile away from my apartment building at 2 a.m.
In case you wondered why the car driving around the lot is two different colors (maroonish and blue) - it represents my 1990 Sunbird. My car suffered a bit of front-end damage last year and I had to replace the bumper, nosepiece, and hood with a red wine-colored junker's. I still haven't gotten around to painting the front end blue, like the rest of the car (the last time I tried painting a car was a bit of a disaster), hence, the two-tone vehicle.
(4-14-2001) I just painted these parts blue, so don't look for a multicolored Sunbird if you're trying to find me :->
The Palm Tree
Just a couple of years ago, the dilapidated "State Apartments" building was razed. Awaiting the structure(s) which would replace it, many SLU faithful were suprised (and confused) when lush grass, two mini-pools, a volleyball net, and some palm trees appeared where the old apartment building once stood. Although this one has been a hotly debated issue from time to time, I don't really have an opinion on the prudence of this decision or the usefulness of these new additions to the campus scenery.
It's all nice to look at (at least during the summer - the palm trees are shipped off for warmer storage during most of our chilly Saint Louis school year) and many folks enjoy the pools and volleyball net during summer months. I must admit some amusement, however, at the decision to erect such a site in lieu of a replacement dorm hall or apartment building, considering the current shortage of on-campus housing.
DPS Officers Boot a Transient Fellow, while Substance-abusing Youngsters Watch
I want to preface anything I say about this with my belief that SLU's Public Safety Department does a first-class job of keeping the Saint Louis University campuses safe and virtually crime-free. DPS maintains, in the middle of a high crime area of the city of Saint Louis, a lower crime rate than many suburban areas of the Saint Louis Metropolitan area. I feel as safe walking around on SLU's campus grounds, at any hour of the day or night, as I did in the Florissant, Missouri neighborhood where I was raised.
This scene is intended to poke fun at two things. First, it seems that one action DPS officers take in order to maintain campus safety is steering various neighborhood wanderers clear from (or off of) the SLU campus. This can be somewhat humorous (pathetic?) to watch from time to time (usually at night). Second, the infants in the background - smoking a joint and guzzling a brew - represent the substance abuse that goes on, rather unhindered by DPS or other authority, among even the youngest of our student ranks. If I had a nickel for every time I had to wade through a marijuana-smog in a Marchetti hallway to get to my apartment...
The Tanning Scene (The End)
SLU recently leased a space in the basement of the Marchetti West tower (funny how my own apartment building seems to keep coming up in my movie...) to "SLU Tan," a business endeavour run by a SLU law student (& former SLU undergrad). All my rantings about the carcinogenic effects of such UV-light exposure as one receives while fake-baking aside, I must admit a personal bias in the whole situation (besides, I once experimented with the ol' skin-roasters myself, before I read up on the nasty things tanning beds can do to fair-skinned Northern-European Irish/Dutch/German mutts like myself). You see, I repeatedly inquired about leasing the same space, just over a year ago, for my computer-service business (the one I mentioned above, in the explanation of the parking scene). The good folks at SLU - Mark Berry (or was it "Barry"?) and Father Stark, I believe - simply told me that they would let me know later on, then ignored my request. Oh well...
The Frequent Tuition Raises (Moneybags)
In my three-and-a-half years as a SLU student, SLU's tuition has risen sharply every school year. During a time when inflation is low and national annual school tuition increases have slowed to around 4-5%, SLU continues to raise tuition around 7% every year, with no end in sight (I'm just glad I'll be done before it's so high next year that I would have to begin taking out additional full-interest loans to cover the increases!). During my years here - between 1997 and now - Saint Louis University tuition (independant of room, lab, parking, and misc. other fees) has risen from $14,940 to $18,400 - an three-year increase of $3,460 or nearly 25%.
I understand that college tuition goes up (and up and up and up), but golly-gee! The campus looks a bit better than when I arrived, but I always hear Fr. Biondi insisting that only endowment/donation monies (and none of my tuition dollars) are spent on the new campus beautification projects (not that I'd be opposed if my tuition dollars went toward making SLU look better). I just can't say that I'm quite getting a $3,460 better education than I did three years ago... heck, factor in the pain-in-the-neck 3/4-mile walk back from my parking space I endure on many weeknights and you could make a case that my current SLU experience is worth $3,460 less!
Some Final (?) Thoughts
I have enjoyed my time at Saint Louis University. I enjoy many aspects of this school. I am satisfied with nearly all of the basic educational services I have received here. The campus is absolutely beautiful and its various amusements are a joy to utilize. Believe me, this part of midtown Saint Louis is eons better off now than it was just a decade ago. Everyone has a gripe or two about something; sometimes it's best to make light of a situation and just laugh it off.
Last Updated: Thu May 10, 2001 - 18:58:37 (by my brother - SLU student site now down)
Last Modified: Fri Mar 30, 2007 - 16:35:08 (by Jeff Geerling - moved to lifeisaprayer.com)
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The Making of SLU for U
Click here to find out how my brother made these two animations (using Macromedia's Flash), and how you can make similar animations.